Today's the day the teddy bears had their picnic - WRONG. Today's the day The Dogg was leader of the pack. Well, in all honesty, The Dogg is leader of the pack every day and I draw on this conclusion by the fact that I call the shots around here. Today was a little different though because our daily walk was just that - a walk.

Grandad parked the car at the scavvy car park near Iceland (which isn't as far from town as it looks in the atlas) and then got the buggy out of the back. He carefully got it ready, taking time to make sure the warm quilty bit lined up with all the other straps, then he unzipped it ready to accommodate it's ever ready passenger but today, the ever ready passenger wasn't ever ready. When grandad put my biggy jacket on me, I told him I was going to walk today.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" I could hear him thinking out aloud as he picked me up like a sack of small potatoes and attempted to put me carefully into my buggy.  Now you've all heard the funny stories about tiny tots going into that state of rigidness that defies all logic but I've now managed to perfect this art with varying degrees of success. Today was one of those good days and my statue state posed enormous problems for grandad. I managed to go sooooooo solid that I slipped right out of the buggy like I was a plank of wood. He asked me nicely to get into the buggy but had no joy. He asked me not so nicely to get into the buggy and had equal success. He isn't easily swayed normally but like the football team he supports (West Ham), he gave in quicker than they did at Man City last week. I waited like a little soldier whilst he put the buggy back into the boot of the car and I heard him say 'bloody kids', 'bloody buggy', 'bloody dog' and 'this is going to take all bloody day' as he looked forward to our little stroll.

Now I use the word stroll lightly, very lightly. I held grandad's hand as we walked up the slope for Millie to have her first wee and then we came to the zebra crossing. A man in a van stopped to let us cross although I'm not sure he wanted to. It didn't take long though and we waved at the man as he left. He seemed quite a nice man as he waved back. Then we walked over the bridge with the cars whooshing underneath at 200mph and as I watched them, it made me go all dizzy. We crossed the next zebra crossing with no trouble, no traffic and we walked around the corner.

"CRANE!!!!!" I shouted as the one with the floppy top came into view. Grandad jumped and after he'd changed his nappy, we carried on into town at the pace of a icy glacier. Lots of people said we looked cute, a very observant point for which I take all the credit. We stopped at some pretty lights and grandad said we had to wait for a green man. Well I looked everywhere but I couldn't see a green man anywhere. There were lots of brown ones from Asia, a few black ones the West Indies, some white ones from England and Poland and two orange girls from Essex but not once did I see a green one but we crossed the road all the same. The lights changed about seven times before we got to the other side and the traffic stretched right up to Hemel Hempstead but we made it safely.

All this time I was carefully holding grandad's hand, even when I jumped in the puddles but when we walked into Ellie's Haircut shop road, I told grandad I wasn't holding his hand anymore. I'm a big boy now and it's time to give me space. I was still good but grandad wasn't keen on not having hold of me. I went to the cold marble seat by Boots and asked grandad to sit next to me. After a short time, his bum got cold and we made our way back through town. Grandad said I had to hold his hand or be carried so I opted for the carry for a while. I got back down and we walked back holding hands again. Finally, back in the car, we headed home. All this walking mullarky made me a tad tired and I was asleep in seconds. Next thing I knew, I woke up in my bed at grandad's with Millie laying on the floor next to my bed. Grandad came and got me and my dinner was ready when I got downstairs. As I said, leader of the pack - or so I thought. I need to look into the criteria for child labour and will be in contact with ChildLine in the near future because after my dinner I had to wash up!! I washed my plate, fork and poon and then put them back in the water. Grandad pulled a funny face and so I done it again - and again. I even washed up Millie's bowl because she can't do it as she's just a dog.

Grandad just doesn't get Peppa Pig. He can't see what us kids see in it but he sat with me whilst we watched it for a little while all the same. He says things like nobody can eat pancakes like that and Mr Bull wouldn't be that nice if he was a real builder blokey. He just doesn't get it because he grew up with Thunderbirds and Tom & Jerry, daddy had Ninja Turtles (which was a cartoon and not a bowel movement complaint).

We done our Hells Kitchen act as normal and sorted the evening meals for me, mum and dad and for Ronnie and Reggie too and that was about it apart from the great big lorry grandad got down from the scary room in the roof. It was massive and I can easily sit in the back although it does tip me straight back out onto the floor. It moved all my bricks in one big go, it was brilliant.

That's it for now, my trusty followers......

Dogg