Normal service has been restored (if there is anything normal about granddad then I'm a Chinese man!) and we're back to Monday playtime after a long hot summertime. Poor old nanna has had to go back to school but me, granddad and the other dog are a formidable team again.

The excitement got the better of me this morning and I gently drifted off to the land of nod for a little while soon after getting there. When I wakeyed up I heard a strange noise coming from granddad in the bathroom. As I opened up the door, granddad was standing there with this long thing in his hand. It was about 6" long (granddad said more like 7") and about 3" around the middle (granddad said more like 4"). I've never seen one like that before but I couldn't take my eyes off it. Its certainly not the same as I use but granddad sat me down and carried on with what he was doing. I have no idea what possessed him to do it as he doesn't have much anyway but he carried on cutting his hair with the long, black lectrik clipper thing. It must take him all of 5 minutes to complete (nanna says more like 4 minutes) and to be totally honest, it doesn't look much different when its cut anyway.

Once he looked remarkably like he did before he cut his hair, granddad took me downstairs and we read books and played games just like in the olden times before the summer. We went into the garden and waddled around a bit but it started to rain so I made some funny 'yuk' noises and we went. Daddy's auntie popped in to say hello and to bring some great bits around and a birthday card for granddad because he's 137 years old on Tuesday. She brought a big freezing box with lots of yummy fruit in and it gave me a cold bum when I sat on the box. She lives a thousand miles away in a place called Gloucester and they had lots of talky time whilst very professionally keeping an eye on me and Millie. Daddy's nanny, who is very cleverly granddads mummy also came over. She makes me laugh even when she's not trying to. She talks in a 'coochy-coo' voice which I think is a bit childish but I humour her all the same.

Oh, must tell you this - as you know, granddad calls me Ronaldo sometimes because I fall over for no reason when nobody is near me but everyone is watching. He showed me how to do it properly last week whilst walking around the lake. He said the secret is to do it near somebody so they get the blame and while he was holding my hand and walking with Millie too, granddad fell like a sack of cack to the ground. He narrowly (quite a feat with his bulk) missed squashing Millie beyond all recognition and also dragged me with him as though I was water skiing behind him!!! I bumped my chin and granddad said some funny words that I assume were Polish and he rolled around like a beached whale. Now that's how to do it I thought!! He's so good I'm going to call him Klinsmann.

Back to yesterday; Uncle Ryan popped in to see us all and was caught unawares by the congregation that greeted him. I like Uncle Ryan - nanna says we're like to poddy peas. After older nanny and granddads auntie had left, granddad said he was taking me and Millie out for a walk. This is where I'm beginning to find things a little unfair. You see, Millie decided that she wasn't going for a walk because it was raining so she hid behind the settee. When I try this, I keep banging my head!! So it was just me and granddad who ventured into town for one of our frequent visits but today we had a few jobs to do. Ryan gave granddad some paper money stuff and asked him to put it in his bank because he wanted to stay home and play games - why can't I do that?!?! We parked up and I got in my buggy where granddad, rather expertly and as though he knew what he was doing, put on my plastic rain cover (on my buggy not his head, although.....). We went into the new bank on the corner and granddad made his way to the counter. "Excuse me sir, how are you today?" asked some spotty-faced geek. Granddad said we were well and said he was going to the counter. "This way sir" said the walking pizza and he escorted us 5 feet to the counter as if he were protecting us from some alien monster. The lady behind the counter was quite pretty but equally as dumb as the geek. She asked granddad how he was today, how his weekend was, what he got up to, what he was going to get up to, how nice his hair looked (actually I made that bit up), etc. If only she worked at UK Border Control we would have people in town speaking more English than 'European'!! She took the money and put it in Uncle Ryan's account and then said "Enjoy the rest of your day", which was by now virtually over due to the extended interrogation that we had endured.

We left the new bank and then went on to granddads bank in town. Here he put some money into a  little book and handed it over to the girl as if passing her a secret bribe not to ask him any questions about his weekend. He then gave her some bags of pennies that looked like he'd won at the pokie machines in the arcade. All this was done in a split second and then we were on our way. Outside it was raining and this made me laugh like a little schoolgirl. I was nice and dry and granddad was all soaky wet. I kept popping my hand out of the plastic to tease him and we both laughed lots.

Back home and there was an hour or so of fun and games and then Millie ran to the back door, I followed and was surprised to see it was daddy. He was way too early but it was great to see him. I gave him a big cuddle and Millie gave him her ball. Daddy and granddad chatted a bit and then me and daddy went to Tesco although we never went in as I fell asleep.

I'm back at Jenny's this week to see all my other mates and I think I'm looking forward to it although its a job to tell...........

See you later
DOGG

Alas the end of my summer break is nearly over and according to the adverts on the telly, I'm going back to school so I need new clothes from George at Asbo or somewhere like that:

2 white T-shirts - £2.50
2 pairs of shorts that go down to my knees - £3.00
7 pairs of socks that go up to my knees - £2.50
4 pairs of boxer dogs (?!) - £2.50
A pack of school pests - £2.50
A woolly jumper for the winter that makes me look like grandad's grandad - £3.00
A variety of blazers or jackets that range from quilted ones that I could camp in, pretty coloured ones that I'd look camp in, camouflaged ones that I can hide in and a long one that would make me look like one of Hitlers henchmen!!!!! Oh sorry that's from £4.00

Some days I may choose to wear a blouse, a skirt, frilly knickers and my hair in a bun but I don't want to be like grandad just yet - apart from the hair of course!!

So, it seems that for around £20/25 I can be fully kitted out in schoolwear but then I need new pencils, rubbers (grandad said I'm way too young for them!), rulers, tractors, compass, etc. All this can be purchased from Asbo for the price of a family night out on pizza but then I think to myself...........I don't go to big school yet, I still go to a child finder who looks after my every needs without a worry in the world. I don't need shirts. I don't need shorts and socks that meet at the knees. I don't need a compass because I'm not going to get lost, I don't need that bendy tractor thing and I certainly am in no condition for the need of any rubbers just yet so, on that note - let's go for pizza!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next week is the last summertime week before nanna has to go back to her school too (does she need new shorts, socks and jocks??). She doesn't seem too keen to get back to school, obviously as she'll miss me but grandad seems a little happier that his 'apprentice' is going back. It must be said that I've had a great summer, much better than last year as I didn't feel up to doing much. This year I've been to loads of places with the nana Jan and papa Mole that mummy has lent me and also with nanna and grandad that daddy has lumbered me with lent me. I am sorry that I haven't written my weekly update but its been such fun that I feel if I write about it, everybody would want to join us and that, my dear reader, is not on my wanted list.

It appears that I am an outsider. Not an outsider in the sense that I'm on the edge of our family as I'm clearly numero uno in that department but an outsider of the outdoor type. I love being outside in the garden where I can play all sorts of fun games like throwing the rocks at nanna's flowers and picking the pretty flowers off the ugly green sticks they grow on. I love kicking the stones then picking them up again. I've been kissing with Evie and been dizzy with Stevie, I saw the lion and went sliding with Ryan. I swam around the big lake one day and swam in The Ganges in town on another. We went to some garden centres, a wildlife park where the aminals where anything but wild. This has by far been the best summer I've had in a year and a half and it can only get better and better because I'm such a good guy. 

There have been so many insects in the garden too; like bees and butterflies that can't fly straight, beetles and ladybirds. There are pretty birds (usually found in town on hot sunny days grandad said) and ugly birds (usually found in town on hot clammy nights grandad said). Grandad has made a pier in the garden near the swimming pool. This is where we are going to enjoy our lunch and snacks before moving the swimming pool and then using the pier as a diving board. It is also going to be our pirates boat later on - aye, aye shippy mates. 

On Wednesday I was around grandad's when the postie man gave me a big parcel. It was addressed to me c/o grandaddydaycare LOL. The postie man knew where I was!!!! The parcel was from our Wiltshire Branch of the family and it was a brilliant book on how I have to look after the old fella as he gets older, when he's a little bit more like me - there'll come a time when he needs HIS nappy changing like mine, when he has to be fed with a spoon with a crooked handle and where all of his cutlery and plates are plastic so he doesn't hurt himself. I now know what I have to do when that time comes.

Back to normal routine the week after next, back to regular updates from the strange goings on at grandaddydaycare (and beyond). 

Catch you all later
DOGG

Now I've just enjoyed a lovely three-week break from grandaddydaycare as I spent two weeks with daddy as he was on holiday and another with mummy and daddy. It's been lovely but I must've been a naughty boy because they've made me do a three-day stint with nanna and grandad. I don't know what I've done wrong but a day for each week missed seems a little harsh. 

On Monday I had a plan. Because nanna and grandad had enjoyed a lovely holiday in a broken bus and I know that they had missed me, I decided that I wasn't going to have my normal morning kip. They could enjoy the extra time with yours truly, they'd be delighted. We popped into town and nanna took me to a shop called Debbie Hams which sold old people's stuff. Grandad managed to skive off and used Millie as an excuse not to go. He watched a man play music on a broken branch like the some people called the Abbey Originals play in Australia then took Millie for a pooh. 

I've also been watching the new footy season on the telly and I've managed to perfect a new skill after watching some Spanny yards. I walk through the living room and into the kitchen and then, without any reason, I fall over then roll around. It nearly always gets me a little cuddle from nanna. Grandad calls me a big tart and sometimes Christiano, although I understand he's a Portugeezer and not a Spanny yard.

On Tuesday we had a brilliant day. A little sleep, not much falling over Spanny yard style, no grizzling. Nanna and grandad took me and Millie to a place called Wellington Country Park between Reading and Basingsmoke. WOW, it was magic! We had a walk around the big pond and then to a little farmy bit with some little aminals. There were piggies, chickens, a couple of little cows and then a little shed thing with some bunnies, guinea piggies (which weren't like piggies at all), ferrets and two tortoises which I loved. I looked underneath one of them but couldn't find the wheels. One of them was a bit speedy; I can't remember if the lady said he was looking for fruit or feeling fruity but either way, he was in a rush to get to something tasty. 

When we carried on walking, we saw two monster horses! They were as big as our house and they pulled a trailer with lots of people on it. I had a walk around a maze with nanna but I couldn't lose her then I sat on some tractors in the little people's play area - no dogs or grandads allowed! We went and had some lunch in the caffy place. Me and Millie shared a sausage, my peas and other veggie stuff. Grandad took a chip then several more when nanna looked the other way. After that I chased nanna in the softie play bit which was great fun and then we walked past some dinosaurs. They scared the little kids but I was more used to them because I had grandad with me and he's an old dinosaur. 

On Wednesday, I had a little half hour nap to keep the old folk happy then we played outside where I continued to practice my falling down speciality. Later nanna took me to the swimming pool which was the brilliantest fun. I done a forward, inward, upside down, two and a half summertimes with fourteen twists, a pike, two carp and a big splash off the top board. Actually thats a little fib but I would've done if nanna had let me. Tom Daley watch out. Now I know we've had a great deal of good weather lately but the swimming pool looked like The Ganges!!!! I must admit it did look like we were playing 'Spot the Difference'! Back home I showed my expert eating skills with my new fork before mummy came to save me, sorry, mummy came to get me. 

Another holiday for bankers on Monday, I'm waiting for my tickets so I can take grandad to the Reading Festival but they haven't arrived yet. Not sure the old fella is up to it anyway which is just what nanna says!!!! 

Catch you next Tuesday/Wednesday

Dogg