The death of mummy's phone the previous evening after very non-productive swimming lesson meant we had a evening of mourning with the moist phone being laid to rest in a bag of rice. Not sure why but I assume its part of some bizarre phone burial ritual that has been passed down from iPhone to iPhone over the centuries.
This morning however, 'Praise The Lord' a Phoenix has risen from the ashes and mummy's electronic companion breathed life again after she tried once more to switch it on. After the half eaten apple sign disappeared, a series of bleeps indicated the phone was once again online (as they say these days).
"Eureka!!!" Mummy shouted as she danced across the floor waving her phone at me.
"It's working again" she said. She was so happy and she told grandad of her joy and why her very expensive phone cover had saved the day!
Now what I want to know is this - it seems that this is a well known fact: rice dries things like sunken phones when the they are left in a bag of rice for a while. Brilliant I think but why don't they make nappies out of rice? I'd be dry all day and I could change my nappy once a week like grandad does. After that, we could boil it and have it with our dinner as normal - two jobs in one I'm thinking. The extra taste wouldn't really be noticed so go for it. I'm on the phone to Tesco later to start the ball rolling with 'Wee Man's Wee Rice'.
Today we visited a shop with animals in it. Nanna and grandad took me just outside town then rudely woke me from my pleasant slumber when we got to the shop. I had my wellies on so I could play in the puddles (not with grandad's phone though!). We saw some pretty birds in a cage then went to see an Howl that was normous. It's the biggest bird I've ever seen apart from the one on X Factor a while back. It could turn his head right around without moving his body. I think nanna can do this when she sees me doing something I shouldn't be doing when she says "I can see you" and she's not even in the same room!!
We then saw some snakes, one kept poking his tongue out at me so I poked mine back at him (or her - how do you tell?). A big lizard looked at Millie, Millie looked at the big lizard then the big lizard stood up and walked around so Millie stood up and walked behind grandad. We saw some little fishes with lights in them and some real ugly ones too. Then nanna took me upstairs and there were some parrots and grandad said something like one had a cock or two which I thought was very clever but equally pointless. There were some puppies in there and they were lovely, a little brown one wanted to come home with me but Millie said no. I have my Millie so can't take in anymore.
After a little snooze and a little sarnie, I was once again on cooking duties as our plan today was to make some little cakes with chocolate bits in them. We stirred in some butter and sugar then added a couple of eggs. We added some flowers which was both fun and messy - like really messy!! Then I had to put some chocolate pieces in so I evenly counted them out 'One for the cakes, four for Dogg' until they were all gone - which wasn't actually that long. After a really hard stir, I put the soggy stuff in those little paper bowls we done the Rice Krispie cakes in and nanna put them in the hot oven. After several hours they were cooked and nanna gave me one. I must admit they tasted better with the paper off, so I put the rest in a tin for mummy and daddy. I saved one for grandad but nanna said he didn't want it which I thought was a nice gesture of hers to answer for him because I think he has trouble saying no to cakes.
Just before three, grandad got ready for work then took me back in the big car. I felt like a princess as I waved to the people on the way back.
That's it for this week at grandad's. I'm off to nanny Jan's tomorrow then back here on Monday when grandad will be short-staffed again.
Catch you all laters, mashed taters!!!
DOGG
Thursday, 20 February 2014
Wednesday, 19 February 2014
On occasion, I've been known to hide from grandad in Millie's bed and it's that small practice that serves me well today. You see, I'm in the doghouse already. I had a lovely bath last night before I went to beddy-byes, splashed around in the bathy bubbles, played with my bath-friendly ducks and toys which are really waterproof and also with mummy's phone which apparently isn't. I think I can safely say that, although she loves me, she wasn't best pleased because her sense of humour seemed to evaporate like water in the desert. I could be having my bath with the old chap tonight!! So here I am, punished for the day with my second spell of the week at grandad's.
Cookery lesson today was breakfast and lots of it. We done our usual tricks with the eggs although today they were going to be scrambled. Grandad let me cut up some much rooms on the choppy board with my plastic knife and I must say, I great job I did of them too. Grandad cooked some bread in the silver thing and then let me butter it and we then chucked the egg and much rooms on top. Scrummy!!
We then got dinner ready for the evening: nanna cooked the shepherds, grandad peeled the tatoes and I cut them into Dogg sized chunks for mashy up pie topping. We chopped some carrots with the precision of a blind man using a pitch fork and lobbed them into the pot. Nanna warmed it all up then left it on the side ready for the evening.
With all the plates washed up, dried up and left on the side we got ready for my bestest adventure of the day. Nanna and grandad are taking me and Millie on a train - a real one. I was running around like my bum was on fire with excitement, so you can imagine my disappointment when we got in the car! Nanna said we had to drive to the railway station as the trains don't stop in grandad's road. When I'm Prime Minister, I'll get that sorted for you grandad!!! We parked in a different car park than we normally do and got in a lift to go down to the station. There was a certain fragrence coming from the lift, one that smells similar to my damp nappy. Grandad said that the lift doubles as a toilet at night time which I thought was a very good public service provided by our local council, who are obviously thinking of ways to help save some pennies.
Grandad went to the lady in the goldfish bowl and got us some tickets. Me and Millie didn't have to pay because we're famous but the lady gave me my own special ticket which had no writing in it. This meant I could go anywhere in the whole world that I chose to. After several minutes of intensive thought, I decided it'll be best I went with nanna and grandad so we walked to the train platform. The train was late, apparently quite common in this country. When it came along I was so excited, I nearly needed another nappy. It was massive and really noisy. The doors opened like on Star Trek and we jumped in. Me and nanna sat in a real comfy chair opposite a man who we didn't know. Grandad and Millie stood by the door, planning an early escape. We went passed lots of houses that all had lakes in the garden which I thought was quite strange as there were lots of lakes outside their gardens too. It would've been better if they'd planted flowers and grass in theirs but everyone to their own I suppose.
We stopped in a village where Nanny Vi lives and started to walk towards her house. After what seemed like three hours, I thought to myself 'Blow this for a game of soldiers, I want a carry' and my ever faithful grandad duly obliged. I ran in to see Nanny Vi and chased Millie around with her ball and a pink biscuit. They all had a cup of tea whilst me and Millie ate our lunch. After a long chat, we left Nanny Vi's and ran at 200mph because grandad said we had to catch the next train. I was really puffed out when we got to the station and slightly less than happy to find out the train was going to be another 10 minutes. My grandad has a habit of this type of time keeping and it's not big and it's not clever!!!! The train took sooooo long that when it finally arrived, even I needed a shave but it was a brilliant trip and as soon as we'd got in the car, I fell asleep for ages.
Mummy came home whilst I was watching Peppa Pig and by funny coincidence Mummy Pig said to Daddy Pig (who was on a boat with Peppa and George) "Don't drop your phone in the water, Daddy Pig".
"I won't" said Daddy Pig
SPLOOOOOSSSHHHHH!!!!
My day ended as it started.
I played with a Uncle Ryan for a while before having a few nibbles of my tea but wasn't too hungry tonight. Today was no punishment, today was brilliant fun with heaps of giggles.
Back again tomorrow,
Hasta la vista
DOGG
Cookery lesson today was breakfast and lots of it. We done our usual tricks with the eggs although today they were going to be scrambled. Grandad let me cut up some much rooms on the choppy board with my plastic knife and I must say, I great job I did of them too. Grandad cooked some bread in the silver thing and then let me butter it and we then chucked the egg and much rooms on top. Scrummy!!
We then got dinner ready for the evening: nanna cooked the shepherds, grandad peeled the tatoes and I cut them into Dogg sized chunks for mashy up pie topping. We chopped some carrots with the precision of a blind man using a pitch fork and lobbed them into the pot. Nanna warmed it all up then left it on the side ready for the evening.
With all the plates washed up, dried up and left on the side we got ready for my bestest adventure of the day. Nanna and grandad are taking me and Millie on a train - a real one. I was running around like my bum was on fire with excitement, so you can imagine my disappointment when we got in the car! Nanna said we had to drive to the railway station as the trains don't stop in grandad's road. When I'm Prime Minister, I'll get that sorted for you grandad!!! We parked in a different car park than we normally do and got in a lift to go down to the station. There was a certain fragrence coming from the lift, one that smells similar to my damp nappy. Grandad said that the lift doubles as a toilet at night time which I thought was a very good public service provided by our local council, who are obviously thinking of ways to help save some pennies.
Grandad went to the lady in the goldfish bowl and got us some tickets. Me and Millie didn't have to pay because we're famous but the lady gave me my own special ticket which had no writing in it. This meant I could go anywhere in the whole world that I chose to. After several minutes of intensive thought, I decided it'll be best I went with nanna and grandad so we walked to the train platform. The train was late, apparently quite common in this country. When it came along I was so excited, I nearly needed another nappy. It was massive and really noisy. The doors opened like on Star Trek and we jumped in. Me and nanna sat in a real comfy chair opposite a man who we didn't know. Grandad and Millie stood by the door, planning an early escape. We went passed lots of houses that all had lakes in the garden which I thought was quite strange as there were lots of lakes outside their gardens too. It would've been better if they'd planted flowers and grass in theirs but everyone to their own I suppose.
We stopped in a village where Nanny Vi lives and started to walk towards her house. After what seemed like three hours, I thought to myself 'Blow this for a game of soldiers, I want a carry' and my ever faithful grandad duly obliged. I ran in to see Nanny Vi and chased Millie around with her ball and a pink biscuit. They all had a cup of tea whilst me and Millie ate our lunch. After a long chat, we left Nanny Vi's and ran at 200mph because grandad said we had to catch the next train. I was really puffed out when we got to the station and slightly less than happy to find out the train was going to be another 10 minutes. My grandad has a habit of this type of time keeping and it's not big and it's not clever!!!! The train took sooooo long that when it finally arrived, even I needed a shave but it was a brilliant trip and as soon as we'd got in the car, I fell asleep for ages.
Mummy came home whilst I was watching Peppa Pig and by funny coincidence Mummy Pig said to Daddy Pig (who was on a boat with Peppa and George) "Don't drop your phone in the water, Daddy Pig".
"I won't" said Daddy Pig
SPLOOOOOSSSHHHHH!!!!
My day ended as it started.
I played with a Uncle Ryan for a while before having a few nibbles of my tea but wasn't too hungry tonight. Today was no punishment, today was brilliant fun with heaps of giggles.
Back again tomorrow,
Hasta la vista
DOGG
Tuesday, 18 February 2014
We have a discrepancy (as mummy calls them). Somebody, I know not whom, has allegedly (we have to say that in case someone sues us for all the chocolate we have!) mentioned that we only cook eggs at our establishment. To that point, today nanna and grandad let me cook some Rice Krispie cakes for me, mummy and Millie.
Grandad asked me to put a few Rice Krispies (am I allowed to say Rice Krispies or is that an advertising thingybob?) in a big bowl. Now I thought that because the bowl was so big, a few Rice Krispies looked a little lost so I added the whole box until they overflowed onto the floor. That was ok because Millie is like a four-legged Dyson (more advertising) and she can whoosh up any spilled goodies with considerable ease.
Nanna melted some chocolate from Sainsburys (seeing as we're on an advertising campaign, we better not leave anyone out) in another big bowl over some hot water. This seemed a little stupid as it made it all gouey and yuk but it made it easier to mix in the Rice Krispies. Nanna poured in the chocolate and let me mix it all up. She them put some little paper bowls down for me to put the mixy stuff in. I was really good at this for most of the time, there was a little moment when I rested the poon on the edge of the bowl and it flicked all over the worktop, grandad and the floor but our trusty hoover cleaner mopped up accordingly. Whenever I have food, Millie is my bestest friend. We wasn't allowed to put the chocolate cakes in the oven but put them in the fridge to cook. This seems a silly way of doing things but it seems a lot safer too.
It was walking time and off we went to town to pay some money into Ryan's bank. Nanna told grandad we should park in the town centre car park where grandad forgets to pay but he said we would be fine in the freebie one. Nanna said it wasn't fair for me to walk too far even though we do it most weeks. She thinks I'm a lightweight. I think grandad is a lightweight because he had to do as he was told and park in the town we did!!
The town was flooded with lots of water, lots and lots of water. Where the little beach is in summer was now a bit moist underfoot. Once in the town, grandad let me put the paper money in a big machine. It made lots of funny noises and then puked up Ryan's card which it didn't like the taste of.
For lunch we had some fishes fingers but not their toes and then we went for a play. I can do heaps of bouncy stuff on grandad's bed, I make more room by chucking the pillows and cushions on the floor. Millie on the bed is a massive no-no in grandad's house but I let her jump up and we roll on the bed laughing - well, I'm laughing and I know Millie would if she could. Downstairs and mummy had bought my scooter over so we could use it as a bobsleigh in our Winter Lympics but grandad is rubbish at it because I stand on it and he leaves me there!!!!
We cooked some chook for tea (once again - we are not just egg cookers) and we had it with some more big taters and some green Brockly, some white Brockly and some carrots. CAKES!!!! I'd forgotten our cakes, how could I possibly forget our cakes???? Surely they must be done by now. Hmmmmm, they were and they were lovely. Even Millie liked them although she wasn't supposed to.
I have Tuesday at Nanny Jan's and Poppa Mole's before I'm back for a couple of shifts here on Wednesday and Thursday. Grandad keeps on about us going up market and I'm not sure if he means we're going somewhere posh or he's talking northern and means 'up t'market' like his nan used to talk. Grandad's said nanna's dad used to talk like that with sayings like "Why, aye?" and "Canna 'gan" and "Ahhhh, load of shite". So, I'm very baffled as to what he means but whatever it is, he says we're going there in 13 days - and counting...........
Catch you all later,
Dogg
Grandad asked me to put a few Rice Krispies (am I allowed to say Rice Krispies or is that an advertising thingybob?) in a big bowl. Now I thought that because the bowl was so big, a few Rice Krispies looked a little lost so I added the whole box until they overflowed onto the floor. That was ok because Millie is like a four-legged Dyson (more advertising) and she can whoosh up any spilled goodies with considerable ease.
Nanna melted some chocolate from Sainsburys (seeing as we're on an advertising campaign, we better not leave anyone out) in another big bowl over some hot water. This seemed a little stupid as it made it all gouey and yuk but it made it easier to mix in the Rice Krispies. Nanna poured in the chocolate and let me mix it all up. She them put some little paper bowls down for me to put the mixy stuff in. I was really good at this for most of the time, there was a little moment when I rested the poon on the edge of the bowl and it flicked all over the worktop, grandad and the floor but our trusty hoover cleaner mopped up accordingly. Whenever I have food, Millie is my bestest friend. We wasn't allowed to put the chocolate cakes in the oven but put them in the fridge to cook. This seems a silly way of doing things but it seems a lot safer too.
It was walking time and off we went to town to pay some money into Ryan's bank. Nanna told grandad we should park in the town centre car park where grandad forgets to pay but he said we would be fine in the freebie one. Nanna said it wasn't fair for me to walk too far even though we do it most weeks. She thinks I'm a lightweight. I think grandad is a lightweight because he had to do as he was told and park in the town we did!!
The town was flooded with lots of water, lots and lots of water. Where the little beach is in summer was now a bit moist underfoot. Once in the town, grandad let me put the paper money in a big machine. It made lots of funny noises and then puked up Ryan's card which it didn't like the taste of.
For lunch we had some fishes fingers but not their toes and then we went for a play. I can do heaps of bouncy stuff on grandad's bed, I make more room by chucking the pillows and cushions on the floor. Millie on the bed is a massive no-no in grandad's house but I let her jump up and we roll on the bed laughing - well, I'm laughing and I know Millie would if she could. Downstairs and mummy had bought my scooter over so we could use it as a bobsleigh in our Winter Lympics but grandad is rubbish at it because I stand on it and he leaves me there!!!!
We cooked some chook for tea (once again - we are not just egg cookers) and we had it with some more big taters and some green Brockly, some white Brockly and some carrots. CAKES!!!! I'd forgotten our cakes, how could I possibly forget our cakes???? Surely they must be done by now. Hmmmmm, they were and they were lovely. Even Millie liked them although she wasn't supposed to.
I have Tuesday at Nanny Jan's and Poppa Mole's before I'm back for a couple of shifts here on Wednesday and Thursday. Grandad keeps on about us going up market and I'm not sure if he means we're going somewhere posh or he's talking northern and means 'up t'market' like his nan used to talk. Grandad's said nanna's dad used to talk like that with sayings like "Why, aye?" and "Canna 'gan" and "Ahhhh, load of shite". So, I'm very baffled as to what he means but whatever it is, he says we're going there in 13 days - and counting...........
Catch you all later,
Dogg
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