I have to start with a story from last week about a school banning the use of 'street' language. I have to admit that I'm slightly disappointed with this stance taken by the school and I hope other schools don't take up the same option before 2017. That should be when I start proper school and I don't want to miss out on being 'cool' with my fellow gangsters. So, just in case I miss out, here's my attempt with a short note to my forthcoming Headmaster:

Yo, teacher dude. Basically, coz you 'ave tried to ban little dudes using dis cool talk, me finks you es going extra wrong on de subject, yeah. Coz we likes to talk-de-talk, we aint 'appy wiv old geezers telling us proper beau gangsters how we can talk, yeah? Basically, if we talked all posh and pompous like yous dus, we'd 'ave our 'kin 'eads kicked in, innit yeah? Dis es wrong man, innit? How d'you like it if it woz yous? Nah, you aint gunna be 'appy bro, es ya?
Respect man, be cool yeah!!

There you go, if I talk like this with my hat on backwards fronty and wear my sunnies dangling under my chin, I'd be proper scary!!

And so my enchanting tale of yesterday's activities at granddads begins:

8 am   - No granddad
9 am   - NO GRANDDAD
10 am - NO GRANDDAD
11 am - NO GRANDDAD

I check my calendar and I know I have the right day but there is still no granddad knocking at my door. Daddy is home, mummy is at work but granddad seems to have forgotten me - no, wait - a knock at the door, a wrinkly old hand poking through my letters box. He's here at last but I don't know what he has to smile about.

On our way back we go to the meat shop to buy some chickens but they didn't seem to have any so granddad picked up a packet of floppy grey stuff instead. He held out a little bag and asked me to throw some potatoes into it. One-two-one-one-two-six-one-one potatoes all in the bag and a couple on the floor too but we picked them up. We took the one potatoes to the meat shop man along with the floppy grey meat and I paid some paper money to him.

We then went to our favourite shop called Warings and got some brown bread and some rolls that weren't as good as the ones we made the other week. On the counter there was some sliced up bits of cake that the ladies must've broken. They left them for us to try and granddad gave me a little bit of one. "Hmmmmmm" I said and then asked for more. It was really licious and granddad said it was all gone. No it wasn't granddad, I'm not a stupid boy!!! I had some more before granddad dragged me outside to go home to his house.

As we haven't had long today, there isn't much that we can tell you but I did make granddad bleed this morning. In a carefully conducted experiment, I have come to the conclusion that my wooden bus isn't the best thing to hit granddad on the head with. He had a little leaking red bit and watery eyes too!! I didn't  mean to, it just happened - honest. As he still loves me, it doesn't really matter anyway.

I am also slightly disappointed with the New York City Council. This week they have removed a lot of the pictures that Banksy and Co have made in the city. It appears they have done the same job in granddad's bedroom too as my wibbly, wobbly drawing from the other day has gone!! Some people have no taste whatsoever when it comes to Arts and Culture in the modern world. I'd now had a gutful and about two o'clock, I decided it was time for a kip.

Other than that, its been an very short day and pretty 'normal', so next week granddad said we will have some special days as I'm moving in with him for a while. On Saturday night, mummy and daddy are out on the pis... out at a wedding and I'm having a sleepy over and then for three days, THREE WHOLE DAYS, I have to babysit granddad and nanna too. Not sure what's planned but I feel a swimming lesson, a day at the pub and one at the races could be on the agenda. I know granddad is looking forward to it so we'll have some extra fun. Instead of my daily report next week, I will do an extra long one at the end of the week on Thursday.

I'm afraid that's it for today so until next week....

Dogg