So, today there's some sort of footy match going on near London I hear. If England win they get to go on holiday to a place called Brazil where the ladies wear not many clothes on the Coconut and Banana Beach and the men all lay face down in the sand for reasons of which I have no idea. Seems stupid that with all those girls around and the fellas don't look.

This football match has about 80% of the local town population gripped in its vice-like jaws. For these local guys, this is a making or breaking game and they will be dancing in the streets if they win or running riot if they lose. It is just as important for the other 20% - who will do the same if England win!!

For all my Polish Fans, the following note (don't worry its not rude):
Do wszystkich moich małych polskich uczniów i przyjaciół, może dziś życzę wam powodzenia w meczu piłki nożnej z Anglią. Proszę nie wychodzić i szalał po ulicach miasta, kiedy traci dzisiaj. tylko wyjątkiem, że są "znacznie lepiej niż ty", który jest, dlaczego są oczywiście tutaj na pierwszym miejscu. W tym pamiętać, życzę wam na pożegnanie.

Right, yesterday at granddads was another cooky day and it was great fun. In the morning we watched a telly show about Lobsters, ugly looking critters that granddad says are nice to eat. EAT? Why on earth would anybody want to eat these yukky looking things, they have big grabbers on the front for mashing up things like crabs and cars and things, they had waggy tails and seemed to swim backwards. How stupid is that??

When I first got to granddads, I went upstairs to wake Uncle Ryan up as he was off for the day. He woke up with eyes like a Chinaman, said "Hello Dogg" and fell asleep again so an hour or so later, I ran up stairs to change my nappy with granddad and I wanted to take the wet one into Uncle Ryan and slap it on his head but granddad wouldn't let me. I walked to his bed and Uncle Ryan's eyes were now mended and he gave me a big cuddle after I jumped on him. He makes me laugh, he's so funny.

When granddad said it was dinner time and Homlet was on the menu so I dragged the big chair over to the working top and decided to help him. We broke some eggs, hundreds of them and bashed them up into a bowl. Granddad then turned on the cooker and we poured the eggs into the big flat pan. He cut up some cheese and I borrowed a bit, so he cut up some more then put it into the Homlet. That was it - as simples as the Meerkat.com. He cut some off then put it on my plate and he then ate the rest.

Now that the summer has gone, we're at the start of the wet season. This means that we all have to go around in big nappies to stay dry. Answer me this if you please; why did we stay in all day to play games and eat food and then go for our walk just as it started to rain? Who in their right mind takes out a young gentleman (namely me) when there is a risk of getting ones hair messed up? It's ok for the old fella, he has no need for a decent hairstyle but mine went all frizzy and I looked like the fizzy girl on Corrie. Now it was on this walk of ours around the quiet suburbs near granddads house that we came across 3 ladies, all at separate times but each of them made a bee-line for us (whats a bee-line? Can't be a straight line as bees fly like butterflies and go all wiggly around the sky). The first lady was about granddads age or thereabouts and she came over saying "Hello beautiful" as she walked. Granddad smiled, I went all cooty and she went straight to Millie!!! The second was a young girl about 18/19 and she was just as complementary as she approached us. I smiled, granddad went all cooty and yes, she went straight for Millie. Now the third lady was a nice Chinese lady who once again muttered things about looking 'gorgeous and ruvvery' and she too, made straight to Millie. Me and granddad exchanged looks and decided the lady was thinking "Yes, ruvvery with vegetables and lice in a cully". Needless to say we made or excuses and bid her a fond farewell.

Once back, we headed for the kitchen again and granddad got some chicken ready with some spicy powder stuff. Some taytoes with garlic and the usual vegetables for healthy living. Nanna came home just as it was ready and granddad put it out along with some fishies for nanna.

Next week the plan is to make mummy and daddy some fairy cakes and I'm going to get messy, granddad says I can break the eggs, I can mix the talcy powder stuff but he has to do the hot cooker stuff. Then we have to try six or seven of them to make sure they're ok and then send any left home to mummy and daddy. Can't wait already......

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Dogg