Today has been a day of challenges, not the usual barmy day that my host and his guest usually encounter but a day where we ran the risk of something doing considerably breasts upwards (Nanna won't like me saying tits up so I won't). 

 

First challenge was getting grandad to pick me up on time. It's not like him to be late but he had to do some worky stuff at 4am. I waited and waited and waited until finally, my smooth topped grandad arrived in his different car. Proper transport for The Dogg this morning, a nice curvy Swedish girl rather than the tattered old French thing that I usually get. I felt like Prince George, that new royal fella. 

Today's pilgrimage through the rosy suburbs of our quiet neighbourhood took us the back way to town where we saw an ideal opportunity to have some fun in a game grandad called 'Run the Gauntlet'. In town there were various groups of neatly dressed people with clipboards and they were stopping people to ask questions about 'Saving the Whale' (I'm not too sure which one though and I'm disappointed that it only seems to be the one whale), 'Thoughts on recycling' (no good to us as we bought the car in and not the bike) and 'Amazon Rain Forest Protection' (this amused us considerably as they were standing next to some workmen who were cutting down a tree). Our plan, sorry, grandads plan was to walk amongst these clipboarders and see if we could get from one end of the street to the other without getting stopped. Our first run was rather easy because granddad walked too far away from them but me, Millie and the Old Fella had a quick huddle at the end of the run and decided to live a little more dangerous so, on our second run, we walked really close to the clipboarders but without making any eye contact. My heart was going bumperty, bumperty, bump all the way but we made it. Huddle and game plan number two; this time granddad actually drove us towards these people AND attempted to make eye contact. When the man or lady smiled and was about talk, we would simply steer away from them and leave them in mid sentence. To be honest, I failed to see the funny side other than driving fast at people then doing a last minute swervy thing, although that made me chuckle a lot - grandad on the other hand was in fits of uncontrollable laughter, leaving me somewhat embarrassed and the general public wondering if he really should be in charge of two dogs in a busy street!!!

After dinner, we had the most bestest fun for ages!!! Hells Kitchen would provide host to me and grandad making some bread (not money, eaty bread). Dolly texted nanna about some bread stuff and she said to granddad that it would be a good idea for him to make some bread with me - nanna doesn't really understand the pressures of modern day culinary events at home with little people. At work its different, who cares at work as the cleany ladies have better skills at tidying up than grandad. Before we started, I suffered the indignity of being stripped down to my nappy and then being forced to wear my snazzy apron. Grandad said it was to keep my clothes from getting too grubby but that doesn't seem to bother him normally, so today I am the Nearly Naked Chef!! I did notice that he never attempted to get down to his nappy!!

Grandad said we needed some greedy ants or something so we could make the bread. He got this enormous bag of talcum powder-like stuff from Millie's treat cupboard and read the structions on the back of the packet, well he tried to as I kept taking his glasses of him! He read it out loud so I could help him get the greedy ants:

• 500g flowers - I wasn't sure what the 'g' was but imagined it was a Merican recipe and the 'g' meant 'grannies', so off I popped to get 500 of grannies flowers from the garden. This didn't please grandad too much and needless to say will please nanna even less!!
• A knob of butter!!! - Excuse me! You can cook with those????
• 1 tbsp of Beast - Millie? Garden bugs? I have no idea!
• 1 tbsp of Salt
• 1 tbsp of Sugar
• 2 Batteries - These weren't in the greedy ants but I put them in anyway. Grandad took one out straight away but didn't see the other until after the hairy cupboard bit. 

I have no idea what tbsp is so I just tipped in a couple of handfuls. Grandad said he had to knead the flowers and butter together which I thought was obvious as we needed to make it anyway!! He put the talc over the worktop which I thought was very messy and nanna would go ballistic, so I wiped it all on the floor. He put down some more and I simply tutted at him for being so damn clumsy. He mashed the talc and butter, then added the Beast and the couple of handfuls tbsp's and some water then he gave it to me to have a go. YUK! It stuck to my hands like pooh in a nappy so I picked up the whole lot (which was so heavy it made my eyes pop!) and threw it on the floor. Uncle Ryan said 'Oh dear' in French and laughed. I laughed to as it must've been funny and then done it again when grandad picked it up. He said any gritty bits in the bread could be passed off as seeds.

After he made it into a massive lump of mess, he tried to hide it in the hairy cupboard for an hour. For someone married to nanna for so long, he sure does ask for trouble! After a while, an hour I assume, he mashed it again, hid it back in the hairy cupboard then took it out once more to put it in the oven. I think he was trying to keep it a secret from nanna but I knew she would see because of the mess he'd made with the talc on the floor.

After a had a little snooze, grandad took some little bread rolls out of the oven but they didn't look the same as the ones he tried to hide, he must've made some more whilst I slept. He took off a smidgy bit and gave it to me - hmmmmmmmmm, it was scrumptious. He put the others on a plate to get cold then tried to tidy up before nanna came home then we sat and read some books where I started to learn yellow and Squidge (Millie's toy).

After nanna came home, I had some chicken, rice and veggies before daddy came over to get me. Nanna didn't like grandad's bread rolls so told daddy to take them home.

Yet another great day at Hells Kitchen and I can't wait for the next attempt to use our culinary magic with grandad in his version called 'Fifteen Hour Meals'.

Hast manana
Dogg