Both me and grandad were slightly miffed yesterday morning. I was just about to enjoy a bit of shutty eye as I gently slid into a quiet state of slumberness when B-A-N-G went the front door knocker. Grandad nearly filled his nappy let alone me and mine, it was enough to wake the dead people. Grandad went to answer the door and I must say, he was very good at not losing his temper because there in front of us were two people no taller than me, both showing off a smile that could only advertise a very successful recent visit to the dentist.
"Good morning sir" said the cheesy smile man. "It was" replied my grandad. "I'm here to ask you about your views on religion.........." asked the man. Towards the end of the man's sentence, I noticed a change in the tone of it, Grandads expression was clearly enough on its own to indicate to the man that he need go no further. I can't remember what he said to the man but it was polite and not his worky talk but the tiny disciples left with little hesitation. Grandad said he thinks they were called Normans and they were friends of Jesus.
As I was fully wakied up by now, grandad phoned older nanny and said that we'd go for a walk and then pop into see her. So off we set on a gentle stroll through the heaving metropolis of Theale. This is where grandad growed up, no sorry - this is where grandad was little and went to school (nanny said grandad still hasn't growed up yet). We had a walk through the church and looked at some dead peoples beds - I'm really glad the knocky door man didn't wake these up earlier!!!! Grandad said he and nanny got married in the church almost 100 years ago.
We then went to the playground and had a little play on the swings, slide and the whirly thing. Millie wasn't allowed into the playground and I could see that she wanted to really. After that we walked past the little school where grandad went, he said it was just the same as it used to be. As we walked along the road, a policeman drove past and looked at us so I slowed down a little in case he booked me for speedy driving. After a walk down past the shops - these shops are pants, no Next for mummy or nanny, no puter shops for daddy and Uncle Ryan, nothing but foody shops and newspaper shops, oh and one that does picture frames which seemed rather pointless to me - we then made our way to see older nanny. Millie ran down the path and barked at the door, I ran after her but didn't bark at the door. We saw older nanny for a while and I had grandad running around like a lunatic much to the musement of older nanny.
We popped in the Post man's office on the way back home but it wasn't what I expected. We waited in a long queue because it was apparent that the old lady at the front doesn't get out often. She talked to the lady in the glass cage about her shopping, her family, her dog, her budgie, etc and it took ages. When we got to the lady at the counter, I could see why she was locked in her glass cage - she looked quite dangerous and I assume the policeman put her in the cage to keep us safe whilst she served her customers. Another lady came into the cage, she was smaller but looked just as scary.
When we got back it was my favourite time, dinner time (lunch time) and I tucked into my sarnies like a toddler possessed - hmmmmmmmmm - then I had some fungus things that were magic but I didn't like my grapes although it was fun spitting them out on the floor. It seems Millie doesn't like grapes either. We then went and played in the garden, Millie chased grandad, grandad chased me, I chased Millie. I walked up the path and rattled the gate but I couldn't escape. I need to dig a tunnel next time and I watched The Great Escape to get some ideas. Grandad took me indoors so I cried, I cried a lot. Grandad took me outside again. Grandad made some potatoes for me and him for tea (dinner) tonight but he'll be in trouble with nanny because he ate most of them whilst they were colding down. He had to make some more and then realised there may not be enough for nanny and Uncle Ryan. Uncle Ryan was at home and grandad was annoyed with him because he got red from the sun yesterday. Grandad doesn't like sunshine redness, he wasn't a happy bunny rabbit. Me and grandad watched the ping-pong on the telly again where the English girl kept up the great British tradition of not getting to the next round, then I got a little tired so grandad told me it was siesta time.
When I got up, me and grandad went outside again and he pulled up some weeds whilst I sweeped them up. The brush was a bit big but it meant I could reach the fence without really moving. I played in the garden with Millie and grandad until nanny came home, I ran up the path to meet her which pleased us both.
Nanny gave me my tea (dinner) and I got on with it myself; potatoes, fish and veg with baby trees. I walked up the road with nanny when grandad went to work and we popped over to see Robbo and Amelia. I don't know what happened next because grandad had gone to work.
Tuesday, 2 July 2013
Tuesday, 25 June 2013
Monday, June 24th
A few weeks back, daddy told grandad that I liked going through the car bath - in a car of course - so grandad took me through one. I didn't like it so I have no idea whatever processed my stupid grandad to try and take me through it again!! I am little over 12 months old and its seems that I have more brains than daddy and grandad put together plus a bag of chips!!!! Gentleman, let me tell you one more time - The Dogg does not like the car bath. Don't take me!!!
Right, that's got that off my tummy: Grandad was late today. Ask grandad about being late and he'll tell you he doesn't do late. So once more, grandad was late today! I got so bored with waiting for him, I went to sleep so I could save my energy to keep him on his tootsies. He eventually arrived after 9.30 and he whisked me away to his house. We picked up Millie and went for our annual walk into town which we do most weeks and Millie broke a record - she wee'd and poohed in the same place, at the same time and we didn't stop for another wee for over 10 minutes. Town was quite busy today with lots of people out in the sunshine. Last week we went to see some boat people at Dorney Lake, where Mr Andy and the pretty girl came to chat, where Millie had her little squabble and where the lady with the Brazilian was. This week we saw some more boat people but they looked a little different with little squashed faces but big smiley smiles. They had lots of shopping as though they had to shop for the whole year.
We then saw four rather nice girls, all a bit noisy but funny. They must have got up late because they didn't have time to get dressed properly. Me and grandad looked at them a little while, well grandad looked at them for a long while and the noisiest one said to grandad "Oi, my eyes are up here" and when grandad politely told her he wasn't looking at her eyes, the other girls all laughed at the noisy one as it made her look silly - stupid girls.
We walked past the Big Tissue man who always says hello to me and Millie. Although he looks a bit scary, grandad says he's harmless. I think grandad needs another appointment at Spectacle Savers because I could see the mans hands when he waved his Big Tissue at people. He must think people can't see as he always shouts "BIG TISSUE, BIG TISSUE". Then we saw a very well dressed man and lady and the man said, in a very funny voice "Goodness me, he has a dog and a baby". I looked at grandad, grandad looked at me, we both looked at Millie and then at the man and lady. What did he mean by that???? I could tell grandad wanted to ask as he had that look on his face so I drove us both off quickly.
On the way back we stopped by a pub where a man who hadn't been to the dentist for a while, crouched down to talk to Millie as though he'd known her for years. I couldn't understand what he was saying and neither could grandad although he said the man was from the place where the pirates go in the song "..........this way, that way, backwards, forwards over the Irish Sea.." He then bent down to talk to me, I looked a little frightened, grandad looked a lot frightened but the man was sooooooo funny. I giggled so much that I wet myself (or had I already done that?). He laughed then turned away, sat down and fell asleep all in the space of 20 seconds!!
Now then a worrying thought. I heard on grandad's wireless at the car bath that some people that work for the govingment have been spying on lots of people called Joe Public. They work at a place called GCHBBQ or something like that and they've been looking at our computer letters and our messages. Now this GCHBBQ place is meant to be secret, like so secret that nobody knows its there. Well, I've found it on the computernet thingy with grandad and its massive!!!! They must be so silly to think nobody will know its there.
I've been trying to find these sneaky spies peoples.
I looked in the bathroom but they weren't in there.
I looked in grandad's cheesy shoe and they wouldn't want to be in there!!! I looked everywhere, well nearly everywhere I could be bothered to look but I could see not a sole (apart from on grandad's shoe) so I gave up.
At dinner time, Uncle Ryan came in again before he went off to work. I find this really fun because he makes me laugh a lot. Once again we had our lunch together and Uncle Ryan pinched grandad's cake plus another bit for his work dinner.
In the afternoon, grandad made me go to bed. he doesn't do it that way very often and I was a little shocked but as I was tired, I soon forgot and I fell asleep. Me, grandad and Millie were all enjoying a little siesta when the stupid phone rang and waked us all up. I started crying, Millie started barking at nothing at all and grandad started moaning like Victor Meldrew - nanny says he's like Victor Meldrew anyway.
The big Ping-Pong started today at a place where The Wombles live. We watched a little bit on the telly but it seemed a pointless game to me. They hit the little ball to each other, done lots of grunting and snorting then sat down for a drink, got up, swapped ends and hit the ball to each other again. The man in the high-chair called out lots of numbers and said he loved us lots of times, told us his jelly had a name, set and scratch and that was that. Totally pointless. All I now know is that the weedy Scottish kid with the pretty girlfriend now has a better chance of winning because the handsome Spanish man with hundreds of pretty girlfriends is out - maybe that's why he's out ;)
Grandad then decided that we were going on another walk. That's now two times that we've done two lots of walk in a day. Grandad said it's so we can get Millie into shape but it's clearly not working the same magic on grandad. Half way around our walk, Millie wanted to to stop - she'd had a gutful by then. Grandad tried to persuade her to carry on - now, stop there a minute and take in this picture. Millie weighs in at around 850kg, grandad is nearer the same figure but in tons. This little dog - now smaller than me - stops grandad in his tracks. Its like a canoe stopping an oily tanker!!!! It's so funny to watch and often the cause for much merriment to the passing public. By the sheer means of basic physics, the dog wasn't going to win in the end - she'd won the battle but not the war. The walk was given an unexpected highlight when a man carrying some of that covey stuff to a house, fell over the kerb whilst trying to carry something and talk on his phone at the same time. I think he was from another country as I didn't understand what he was saying as he got up. The covey stuff broke into lots of bits which must have made it easier to carry but harder to fit.
On the way back, nanny drove up in her buggy. She stopped to say hello and both me and Millie done a little dance. We ran down the path to meet her which was lovely, then nanny put my tea (dinner) on and grandad ran around the bath as normal. I think it's his way of hiding from me. As grandad left for work, mummy came to get me. Today I'd been a good boy again, a little grumpy towards the end but still a good boy.
Until next time.............
Dogg
A few weeks back, daddy told grandad that I liked going through the car bath - in a car of course - so grandad took me through one. I didn't like it so I have no idea whatever processed my stupid grandad to try and take me through it again!! I am little over 12 months old and its seems that I have more brains than daddy and grandad put together plus a bag of chips!!!! Gentleman, let me tell you one more time - The Dogg does not like the car bath. Don't take me!!!
Right, that's got that off my tummy: Grandad was late today. Ask grandad about being late and he'll tell you he doesn't do late. So once more, grandad was late today! I got so bored with waiting for him, I went to sleep so I could save my energy to keep him on his tootsies. He eventually arrived after 9.30 and he whisked me away to his house. We picked up Millie and went for our annual walk into town which we do most weeks and Millie broke a record - she wee'd and poohed in the same place, at the same time and we didn't stop for another wee for over 10 minutes. Town was quite busy today with lots of people out in the sunshine. Last week we went to see some boat people at Dorney Lake, where Mr Andy and the pretty girl came to chat, where Millie had her little squabble and where the lady with the Brazilian was. This week we saw some more boat people but they looked a little different with little squashed faces but big smiley smiles. They had lots of shopping as though they had to shop for the whole year.
We then saw four rather nice girls, all a bit noisy but funny. They must have got up late because they didn't have time to get dressed properly. Me and grandad looked at them a little while, well grandad looked at them for a long while and the noisiest one said to grandad "Oi, my eyes are up here" and when grandad politely told her he wasn't looking at her eyes, the other girls all laughed at the noisy one as it made her look silly - stupid girls.
We walked past the Big Tissue man who always says hello to me and Millie. Although he looks a bit scary, grandad says he's harmless. I think grandad needs another appointment at Spectacle Savers because I could see the mans hands when he waved his Big Tissue at people. He must think people can't see as he always shouts "BIG TISSUE, BIG TISSUE". Then we saw a very well dressed man and lady and the man said, in a very funny voice "Goodness me, he has a dog and a baby". I looked at grandad, grandad looked at me, we both looked at Millie and then at the man and lady. What did he mean by that???? I could tell grandad wanted to ask as he had that look on his face so I drove us both off quickly.
On the way back we stopped by a pub where a man who hadn't been to the dentist for a while, crouched down to talk to Millie as though he'd known her for years. I couldn't understand what he was saying and neither could grandad although he said the man was from the place where the pirates go in the song "..........this way, that way, backwards, forwards over the Irish Sea.." He then bent down to talk to me, I looked a little frightened, grandad looked a lot frightened but the man was sooooooo funny. I giggled so much that I wet myself (or had I already done that?). He laughed then turned away, sat down and fell asleep all in the space of 20 seconds!!
Now then a worrying thought. I heard on grandad's wireless at the car bath that some people that work for the govingment have been spying on lots of people called Joe Public. They work at a place called GCHBBQ or something like that and they've been looking at our computer letters and our messages. Now this GCHBBQ place is meant to be secret, like so secret that nobody knows its there. Well, I've found it on the computernet thingy with grandad and its massive!!!! They must be so silly to think nobody will know its there. I've been trying to find these sneaky spies peoples.
I looked in the bathroom but they weren't in there.
I looked in grandad's cheesy shoe and they wouldn't want to be in there!!! I looked everywhere, well nearly everywhere I could be bothered to look but I could see not a sole (apart from on grandad's shoe) so I gave up.
At dinner time, Uncle Ryan came in again before he went off to work. I find this really fun because he makes me laugh a lot. Once again we had our lunch together and Uncle Ryan pinched grandad's cake plus another bit for his work dinner.
In the afternoon, grandad made me go to bed. he doesn't do it that way very often and I was a little shocked but as I was tired, I soon forgot and I fell asleep. Me, grandad and Millie were all enjoying a little siesta when the stupid phone rang and waked us all up. I started crying, Millie started barking at nothing at all and grandad started moaning like Victor Meldrew - nanny says he's like Victor Meldrew anyway.
The big Ping-Pong started today at a place where The Wombles live. We watched a little bit on the telly but it seemed a pointless game to me. They hit the little ball to each other, done lots of grunting and snorting then sat down for a drink, got up, swapped ends and hit the ball to each other again. The man in the high-chair called out lots of numbers and said he loved us lots of times, told us his jelly had a name, set and scratch and that was that. Totally pointless. All I now know is that the weedy Scottish kid with the pretty girlfriend now has a better chance of winning because the handsome Spanish man with hundreds of pretty girlfriends is out - maybe that's why he's out ;)
Grandad then decided that we were going on another walk. That's now two times that we've done two lots of walk in a day. Grandad said it's so we can get Millie into shape but it's clearly not working the same magic on grandad. Half way around our walk, Millie wanted to to stop - she'd had a gutful by then. Grandad tried to persuade her to carry on - now, stop there a minute and take in this picture. Millie weighs in at around 850kg, grandad is nearer the same figure but in tons. This little dog - now smaller than me - stops grandad in his tracks. Its like a canoe stopping an oily tanker!!!! It's so funny to watch and often the cause for much merriment to the passing public. By the sheer means of basic physics, the dog wasn't going to win in the end - she'd won the battle but not the war. The walk was given an unexpected highlight when a man carrying some of that covey stuff to a house, fell over the kerb whilst trying to carry something and talk on his phone at the same time. I think he was from another country as I didn't understand what he was saying as he got up. The covey stuff broke into lots of bits which must have made it easier to carry but harder to fit.
On the way back, nanny drove up in her buggy. She stopped to say hello and both me and Millie done a little dance. We ran down the path to meet her which was lovely, then nanny put my tea (dinner) on and grandad ran around the bath as normal. I think it's his way of hiding from me. As grandad left for work, mummy came to get me. Today I'd been a good boy again, a little grumpy towards the end but still a good boy.
Until next time.............
Dogg
Monday, 17 June 2013
Today I went to one of the Lympik places, the one where the skinny boats swam in the long straight line. I managed to grab a little snooze on the way and grandad had to wake me up when we got there.
There were lots of working men at the lake and they were putting up lots of new bits for people to sit on as there was a big race this weekend. Everyone in the world is going to race so there will be a lot of people there. We walked around the big boaty building and we met one man and his dog in the workshop. He knew grandad and they had a little man cuddle which looked a bit girlie and then a dog came and said hello to grandad as she knew him too then said hello to Millie and then licked my face. Charming.
Grandad and the man had a cup of tea, Millie and Tilly had a mini scrap and I had a good old nose around the workshop with all the boats in. They looked like they would break if a man got in them, they would if grandad did!! Then a girl came in to see them and she gave grandad a HUGE cuddle, he must be famous or something. She was very nice and I took a shine to her straight away and we had a cuddle too. The man told grandad there was a girl outside with a Brazilian and when grandad went outside to see, he was mildly surprised to see another girl with an American, one with a New Zealander man and one with an Australian. Not sure what he was hoping to see but he looked a tad disappointed!! Millie then done a very impressive party piece and poohed on the workshop floor.
When we left we had a little walk along the racey bit, it was about 100 miles long and very straight. I wanted to get in the water but grandad wouldn't let me. We got back in the car and started to drive back. I saw where The Queen lives!!! Its quite a big house near Wind Sir and it looked like she's just done some washing as I could see a big duvet flapping in the wind whilst drying on the roof. Back on the big road, grandad put the radio on and it had some silly game on. Sir Lanky were playing Australia in a game of cricket. I know crickets are like grasshoppers so not sure how they play with insects. It sounded ever so complicated ".... and Kikkybum is bowling to Arbuckle.........oh what a splended strike, past silly mid-middle man and over the border for four goals..........what a catch by the keepy wicket fella who nearly whipped his bails off.........." It all sounded so painful and boring so I went to sleep for a little while - or at least I pretended to.
Once home we had our lunch and Uncle Ryan comed home to see us which was nice. We watched some silly film on the telly where the men spoke in a language called Cocky Knees, I could understand Chinese better!!! We played lots and Uncle Ryan joined in and later said he was hungry. Uncle Ryan is always hungry so grandad cooked some chicken that nanny had caught in the morning and we had it with some veggytables, it was gorgeous. Later, grandad decided it would be a good idea to go for ANOTHER walk, me and Millie didn't think so but we went along to humour him. When we left, nanny came home and she said she'd come with us. That was really nice and it was my turn to drive her for a change instead of driving grandad. When we got back, she had teary eyes and said it was the trees but I think she didn't like my driving.
Grandad went to work when we got back, mummy came to get me and let me tip water from grandads new swimming pool all over my shoes. That was great fun.
Off home now, been told I have a sleepy over on Saturday with nanny and grandad and I can tell that they can't wait already!!!!!!!!!!
Dogg
There were lots of working men at the lake and they were putting up lots of new bits for people to sit on as there was a big race this weekend. Everyone in the world is going to race so there will be a lot of people there. We walked around the big boaty building and we met one man and his dog in the workshop. He knew grandad and they had a little man cuddle which looked a bit girlie and then a dog came and said hello to grandad as she knew him too then said hello to Millie and then licked my face. Charming.
Grandad and the man had a cup of tea, Millie and Tilly had a mini scrap and I had a good old nose around the workshop with all the boats in. They looked like they would break if a man got in them, they would if grandad did!! Then a girl came in to see them and she gave grandad a HUGE cuddle, he must be famous or something. She was very nice and I took a shine to her straight away and we had a cuddle too. The man told grandad there was a girl outside with a Brazilian and when grandad went outside to see, he was mildly surprised to see another girl with an American, one with a New Zealander man and one with an Australian. Not sure what he was hoping to see but he looked a tad disappointed!! Millie then done a very impressive party piece and poohed on the workshop floor.
When we left we had a little walk along the racey bit, it was about 100 miles long and very straight. I wanted to get in the water but grandad wouldn't let me. We got back in the car and started to drive back. I saw where The Queen lives!!! Its quite a big house near Wind Sir and it looked like she's just done some washing as I could see a big duvet flapping in the wind whilst drying on the roof. Back on the big road, grandad put the radio on and it had some silly game on. Sir Lanky were playing Australia in a game of cricket. I know crickets are like grasshoppers so not sure how they play with insects. It sounded ever so complicated ".... and Kikkybum is bowling to Arbuckle.........oh what a splended strike, past silly mid-middle man and over the border for four goals..........what a catch by the keepy wicket fella who nearly whipped his bails off.........." It all sounded so painful and boring so I went to sleep for a little while - or at least I pretended to.
Once home we had our lunch and Uncle Ryan comed home to see us which was nice. We watched some silly film on the telly where the men spoke in a language called Cocky Knees, I could understand Chinese better!!! We played lots and Uncle Ryan joined in and later said he was hungry. Uncle Ryan is always hungry so grandad cooked some chicken that nanny had caught in the morning and we had it with some veggytables, it was gorgeous. Later, grandad decided it would be a good idea to go for ANOTHER walk, me and Millie didn't think so but we went along to humour him. When we left, nanny came home and she said she'd come with us. That was really nice and it was my turn to drive her for a change instead of driving grandad. When we got back, she had teary eyes and said it was the trees but I think she didn't like my driving.
Grandad went to work when we got back, mummy came to get me and let me tip water from grandads new swimming pool all over my shoes. That was great fun.
Off home now, been told I have a sleepy over on Saturday with nanny and grandad and I can tell that they can't wait already!!!!!!!!!!
Dogg
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