Monday, June 24th

A few weeks back, daddy told grandad that I liked going through the car bath - in a car of course - so grandad took me through one. I didn't like it so I have no idea whatever processed my stupid grandad to try and take me through it again!! I am little over 12 months old and its seems that I have more brains than daddy and grandad put together plus a bag of chips!!!! Gentleman, let me tell you one more time - The Dogg does not like the car bath. Don't take me!!!

Right, that's got that off my tummy: Grandad was late today. Ask grandad about being late and he'll tell you he doesn't do late. So once more, grandad was late today! I got so bored with waiting for him, I went to sleep so I could save my energy to keep him on his tootsies. He eventually arrived after 9.30 and he whisked me away to his house. We picked up Millie and went for our annual walk into town which we do most weeks and Millie broke a record - she wee'd and poohed in the same place, at the same time and we didn't stop for another wee for over 10 minutes. Town was quite busy today with lots of people out in the sunshine. Last week we went to see some boat people at Dorney Lake, where Mr Andy and the pretty girl came to chat, where Millie had her little squabble and where the lady with the Brazilian was. This week we saw some more boat people but they looked a little different with little squashed faces but big smiley smiles. They had lots of shopping as though they had to shop for the whole year.

We then saw four rather nice girls, all a bit noisy but funny. They must have got up late because they didn't have time to get dressed properly. Me and grandad looked at them a little while, well grandad looked at them for a long while and the noisiest one said to grandad "Oi, my eyes are up here" and when grandad politely told her he wasn't looking at her eyes, the other girls all laughed at the noisy one as it made her look silly - stupid girls.

We walked past the Big Tissue man who always says hello to me and Millie. Although he looks a bit scary, grandad says he's harmless. I think grandad needs another appointment at Spectacle Savers because I could see the mans hands when he waved his Big Tissue at people. He must think people can't see as he always shouts "BIG TISSUE, BIG TISSUE". Then we saw a very well dressed man and lady and the man said, in a very funny voice "Goodness me, he has a dog and a baby". I looked at grandad, grandad looked at me, we both looked at Millie and then at the man and lady. What did he mean by that???? I could tell grandad wanted to ask as he had that look on his face so I drove us both off quickly.

On the way back we stopped by a pub where a man who hadn't been to the dentist for a while, crouched down to talk to Millie as though he'd known her for years. I couldn't understand what he was saying and neither could grandad although he said the man was from the place where the pirates go in the song "..........this way, that way, backwards, forwards over the Irish Sea.." He then bent down to talk to me, I looked a little frightened, grandad looked a lot frightened but the man was sooooooo funny. I giggled so much that I wet myself (or had I already done that?). He laughed then turned away, sat down and fell asleep all in the space of 20 seconds!!

Now then a worrying thought. I heard on grandad's wireless at the car bath that some people that work for the govingment have been spying on lots of people called Joe Public. They work at a place called GCHBBQ or something like that and they've been looking at our computer letters and our messages. Now this GCHBBQ place is meant to be secret, like so secret that nobody knows its there. Well, I've found it on the computernet thingy with grandad and its massive!!!! They must be so silly to think nobody will know its there. 

I've been trying to find these sneaky spies peoples.

I looked in the bathroom but they weren't in there.



I looked in grandad's cheesy shoe and they wouldn't want to be in there!!! I looked everywhere, well nearly everywhere I could be bothered to look but I could see not a sole (apart from on grandad's shoe) so I gave up. 


At dinner time, Uncle Ryan came in again before he went off to work. I find this really fun because he makes me laugh a lot. Once again we had our lunch together and Uncle Ryan pinched grandad's cake plus another bit for his work dinner. 

In the afternoon, grandad made me go to bed. he doesn't do it that way very often and I was a little shocked but as I was tired, I soon forgot and I fell asleep. Me, grandad and Millie were all enjoying a little siesta when the stupid phone rang and waked us all up. I started crying, Millie started barking at nothing at all and grandad started moaning like Victor Meldrew - nanny says he's like Victor Meldrew anyway. 

The big Ping-Pong started today at a place where The Wombles live. We watched a little bit on the telly but it seemed a pointless game to me. They hit the little ball to each other, done lots of grunting and snorting then sat down for a drink, got up, swapped ends and hit the ball to each other again. The man in the high-chair called out lots of numbers and said he loved us lots of times, told us his jelly had a name, set and scratch and that was that. Totally pointless. All I now know is that the weedy Scottish kid with the pretty girlfriend now has a better chance of winning because the handsome Spanish man with hundreds of pretty girlfriends is out - maybe that's why he's out ;)

Grandad then decided that we were going on another walk. That's now two times that we've done two lots of walk in a day. Grandad said it's so we can get Millie into shape but it's clearly not working the same magic on grandad. Half way around our walk, Millie wanted to to stop - she'd had a gutful by then. Grandad tried to persuade her to carry on - now, stop there a minute and take in this picture. Millie weighs in at around 850kg, grandad is nearer the same figure but in tons. This little dog - now smaller than me - stops grandad in his tracks. Its like a canoe stopping an oily tanker!!!! It's so funny to watch and often the cause for much merriment to the passing public. By the sheer means of basic physics, the dog wasn't going to win in the end - she'd won the battle but not the war. The walk was given an unexpected highlight when a man carrying some of that covey stuff to a house, fell over the kerb whilst trying to carry something and talk on his phone at the same time. I think he was from another country as I didn't understand what he was saying as he got up. The covey stuff broke into lots of bits which must have made it easier to carry but harder to fit.

On the way back, nanny drove up in her buggy. She stopped to say hello and both me and Millie done a little dance. We ran down the path to meet her which was lovely, then nanny put my tea (dinner) on and grandad ran around the bath as normal. I think it's his way of hiding from me. As grandad left for work, mummy came to get me. Today I'd been a good boy again, a little grumpy towards the end but still a good boy. 

Until next time.............

Dogg